Since I started working again, things weren’t going so well. Not because I didn’t like my job, but because of the nature of the job. I was on my feet for 8 to 10 hours per day. That’s not exactly good for my head with all of the damage inside there. Supervisory Project Coach was my official title, project manager can describe it too. It is still amazing to me that I got hired as a project manager after not working for almost 20 years. It was a good job with a lot of potential. But potential doesn’t make the pain go away or make me less dizzy or nauseous. I almost threw up once, I fell down once, I lost my balance countless times. No one seemed to notice I think. The important thing is that I noticed and it got to a point to where I knew I would put myself in a dangerous situation if I continued.
Today I turned in my resignation. It was very difficult for me because I don’t like to fail. Just about every aspect of my life has limitations, and I found my work limitations. Physical work, nope, not going to happen. This includes just being on my feet for 10 hours a day. Something easy for most people, but not for me. I didn’t just quit on the spot, I said my last day would be a week from today. Burning bridges isn’t what I do. They were understanding of course. I didn’t want to keep going and put myself or someone else in a situation where I or someone else could get injured. Admitting that I can’t do something is extremely hard, especially when it’s something I could very easily do prior to my accident. That thought never entered my mind when I was in college. I would just work harder if I was stuck on something. Physical work is a whole different story, if I work harder, I feel much worse.
Prior to taking this job, it was basically a decision of economics. A salary is much better that commission with regards to a paycheck. But it seems that selling insurance is a good fit for me. There is remote work, or office work. There is more flexibility with regards to schedules, but there is also discipline involved. I can’t be complacent and I will have to work hard. I can look at this job like school, working harder will bring greater reward.
The job I chose was a traveling job so I wasn’t home with my kids every day. I know my son wants me to be home, and my daughter too. My daughter probably wants me home just so she doesn’t have to buy groceries and spend her own money. That’s a joke, for the most part. There are weekends where I wouldn’t be able to come home, which means not seeing my girlfriend either. So, the job I chose takes a toll on more than just my body. It effects my family too. But I need to be able to support my family too.
The New Job
My new job will have less paycheck security, but I will get out what I put into it. If I’m not doing well enough, I will need to work harder. That’s the nature of that business. My recruiter has been very open about it and he is very easy to talk to. There has been no pressure and no sales pitches about the job. That gives me a sense of trust. Am I good at sales? I have absolutely no idea. What I am good at is talking to people. That’s one of my gifts I think. Building relationships with people is important in every aspect of life. There is 3 months of training, by the end of the training I should know if I will be good at it. Other insurance companies I applied for didn’t have this level of training. Training mostly consisted of telling us how much money they made, just not how they did it. So I’ll see how it goes. But I look forward to starting this new job and not feeling like crap at the end of each day.